


Protector

by kronette



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 06:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garak's past returns at the worst possible moment - when Bashir agrees to have dinner with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protector

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 1996 under my other pseud, Shelley Wright.

_Damn_

Garak's eyes slid across the Replimat, covertly observing the two Cardassian males who had just entered. Talking quietly between themselves, the two Cardassians sat down at a table far from Garak, but at an angle that they could watch him.

_Damn_

"Garak?" The polite, accented voice could only belong to one person.

"Doctor," Garak greeted Julian Bashir brightly. "Do sit down," he inclined his head at the empty seat across from him.

The slender Human smiled warmly as he joined his friend, setting his tray before him. Inhaling sharply, he made a face. "Looks like the replicators might be out again," he observed as he took a careful sip of his beef bouillon.

"I wouldn't do..." Garak's warning segued into muffled laughter as he watched Julian nearly spit out his soup.

"Agh, that is horrid!" Julian hissed, wiping his mouth hastily with a napkin.

"I tried to warn you," Garak teased his young friend, smirking as the Human shot him a glare.

"I notice you've eaten already," Julian observed with a cocked eyebrow, reaching over to the Trica root on Garak's plate.

"I was smart enough to supply my own meal, doctor. Do help yourself," he added amiably as Bashir popped a portion of the root between his lips.

"Mm. I'm sorry," Julian murmured around the morsel, "But I have to be back in the Infirmary in a few minutes, and there isn't time for anything else. Do you mind?" he asked, eyebrows raised questioningly even as his hand hovered over Garak's place.

Garak's laughter erupted as he pushed his plate toward Julian. "Be my guest, doctor. Far be it from me to be the cause of your malnutrition."

"Very funny."

Garak watched Julian practically devour the meal before him, smiling slightly at the enthusiasm he showed at even the tiniest hint of flavor.

"Did you prepare this yourself?" Julian asked as he sipped at his tea. His face was flushed from a particularly spicy bite.

Garak didn't register the question at first. He was too busy watching the flush creep along the Human's features, his eyes sparkling from the spice. "Hm? Oh, yes, I did," the Cardassian finally answered, shaking himself out of his momentary fixation.

"It's wonderful. Wish I could eat like this every day."

There was a wistfulness in the young man's voice, a longing that Garak had heard occasionally. Ever since Melora, and then Leeta had disappeared out of the doctor's life, he had been alone, almost a recluse. Garak surmised that Julian was at the Terran age when he would like to settle down, to find someone with which to share his life with, but there were few women on DS9 who satisfied him. Sighing, Garak admitted wryly that he was at that same age.

"As do I, doctor. Would you care to join me tonight?" The invitation startled Garak nearly as much as it did Julian.

"Dinner? Why - I'd be delighted." Julian's entire face lit up in a smile. "It's certain to be better than this place."

"Thank you so much for the compliment, doctor," Garak commented dryly, rolling his eyes.

Smirking, Julian inclined his head. "Any time, Garak. When would you like me?"

The phrasing made Garak smile. Pushing aside his rampant lusty thoughts, Garak proposed, "What about 1950? Is that too early?"

"Perfect," Julian said as he swallowed the last of the root. Tossing down his napkin and picking up his tray, he smiled. "See you tonight, Garak."

"Tonight," Garak echoed, watching the Human leave with a sparkle in his eye. Sighing, he took his mug to the reclaimation unit and returned to his shop, thinking up a suitable menu for the evening.

He didn't notice the two Cardassians observing him leave the Replimat, then get up to follow.

****

"Tailor."

The irate voice echoed through Garak's shop, causing him to nearly run to the front of the store.

"Can I help - you," Garak's voice faltered as he saw the two Cardassians from earlier. With a start, he realized they wore the medal of the Protectors.

"Probably not. But someone thinks you can help us," one spat, holding out a PADD to the tailor. "Do you know these people?"

Quickly scrolling through the list of names, Garak's stomach did a nose-dive. Half were acquaintances from the Obsidian Order, some were former lovers, friends, teachers - it seemed nearly everyone from his past.

Glancing up, he asked calmly, "Should I?"

The Cardassian to his left answered this time. "We need confirmation that these people knew you."

 _Knew_. Garak fixated on that word, spoken in the past tense. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Garak's sharp gaze followed the two men pacing around him as one answered, "You do not need to know that, Elim. Only know this; your exile is about to come to an end."

Garak drew a sharp breath; it seemed his contacts had not been able to postpone the callback any longer. "I see. Will I be allowed time to organize my affairs?"

One of the Cardassians, a large man with piercing green eyes stopped in front of him, glaring down at him menacingly. "What affairs could you possibly have to organize,  _tailor_?"

"Sst."

The Cardassian looked up to his friend at his insistent page. Nodding his head, the Cardassian in front of Garak returned his gaze to the tailor. "I see. You have made friends here, I take it?"

"Friends? Me?" Garak barked a short laugh, trying desperately to control his wildly beating heart. He recalled that they had witnessed his meal today with the doctor. "I have no friends."

"Of course you do. Such a personable man as yourself  _must_ have made at least _one_ friend in your time here. A special friend, perhaps? One that shares meals," the Cardassian leaned closer, his breath hot on Garak's face, "and perhaps other things as well."

"No," Garak hissed. "He is a friend. Nothing more." He raised his eyes defiantly to the other Cardassian, hiding his fear carefully.

"He seemed quite friendly with you," the other Cardassian hissed in Garak's left ear. Moving quickly to his right, he murmured in his other ear, "Overly friendly, if you ask me."

"No one asked you," Garak retorted, breathing unsteadily. He knew the consequences if Julian was regarded as a friend of his, especially now. "He is no concern of mine or yours."

"But he is," the Cardassian in front of him whispered. "You know the law. Anyone with contact with the accused must be brought before the Counsel," he leered down at Garak, "And thoroughly interrogated."

Garak choked. He knew the interrogation methods used by the Protectors. He had sent many men and women into their hands while he was an operative. Now he knew the reason for the fear and panic in their eyes, the pleading from their families for their lives. He had scoffed at them, saying they were being tried for the good of the state, ignored their heart-felt pleas. Now he regretted that with every fiber of his being.

Both Cardassians backed away, realizing they had gotten to him. "You will leave with us in two days. That should be enough time to organize any affairs you may still have." Straightening regally, they strode out of Garak's shop, leaving the tailor shaking.

"My dear Julian, what have I done to you?" he whispered to his empty shop.

****

Julian frowned as he stood outside Garak's door. He was positive Garak had said to meet him here at 1950, and it was almost 2000 now.

"Garak?" he called into the door, concern filtering into his voice. He touched the chime again, hearing it echo in the quarters. The image of Garak, hypospray in hand, entered his mind, and he gnawed at his lip, willing the image away.  _Garak wouldn't do that again_ , Julian assured himself.  _He's over the implant now_. But concern overrode his sense, and he repeated the medical override and entered the tailor's quarters.

Peering through the darkness, Julian made out a figure on the couch. "Garak?" he called softly, moving hesitantly to the middle of the room.

"Doctor? I'm sorry. I completely forgot about our dinner plans." Garak's voice was hushed, thick, as if speaking hurt him.

"Garak, what's happened? Why are the lights dimmed?" Julian's voice rose as his concern flared. He knelt by the couch, resting his hand on Garak's shoulder.

Garak flinched back, immediately sitting up. "Nothing is wrong, doctor. I merely forgot our dinner engagement." He sighed. "I've a bit of a headache. Would you mind leaving me?"

"Yes, I would." Julian's voice was laced with steel as he settled himself onto the couch next to his friend. "What sort of headache? When did it start?"

"Doctor, please," Garak's tone was growing harsh at the doctor's insistence.

"I'm concerned about you, Garak. If that's a crime, I'm sorry."

Garak laughed then, a cruel, biting laugh. "That's just it, doctor. It is."

Julian frowned in confusion. "What is? Garak, you aren't making any sense!"

"A crime!" Garak jumped to his feet, spinning and glaring down at the doctor. "It is a crime to be concerned about me. It is a _crime_ to be my friend, doctor."

Julian sighed in frustration. "What are you talking about! It isn't a crime to be concerned..."

"It is," Garak interrupted him coldly, "When it concerns me. When you admit you are my friend, you have committed a crime on Cardassia."

Julian spluttered, "That's absurd!"

"That is the _truth_ ," Garak spat, his blue eyes blazing with emotion. "I'm sorry for pulling you into this, doctor. I truly am. I've been sitting for hours, thinking of a solution. And I think I have it."

"Solution to what? Garak's what's happened? Tell me!" Julian rose and faced his Cardassian friend, feeling him grow distant even as he moved closer.

Garak crossed his arms, the dim light causing muddled shadows to cross his facial features. His voice was soft, controlled, and tinged with fear. "You know I was exiled. That was not the whole truth."

Julian had a fleeting thought to laugh, but the Cardassian's mood was too somber; too reserved.

"I was sent here until a time when my enemies would be out of power; when I could return safely home."

"And your enemies haven't fallen out of power?" Julian prodded softly when the Cardassian lapsed silent.

Garak shook his head. "Some have risen in power, one becoming a prominent figure in the civilian government. My crime was such that it would be more punishable under a civilian controlled government than a military one."

Julian's eyes filled with tears as he saw the anguish in his friend's expression. He asked softly of no one in particular, "What crime could you have committed to deserve this? What could you have possibly done to suffer this uncertainty in your life?"

Garak's voice was guarded as he answered, "I can't tell you, doctor, for your own protection."

"More secrets, Garak? Haven't there been enough secrets between us?" Julian huffed, though there was a sadness in his voice, reflected in his dark eyes.

Garak shook his head sadly. "You don't understand, Julian. It is not a matter of keeping secrets from you. It is a matter of keeping you safe."

"From what? From whom? Garak, I can take care of myself!" Real fear squeezed the Human's heart as he realized what Garak was trying to tell him. "You're leaving, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

Garak answered, his voice no more than a whisper, "I must, doctor. If I stay here, I will be killed. If I leave, they might not be able to find me." There were tears in his voice, matching those now trailing down his facial ridges.

Julian stared at his friend in shock, his gut churning, as realization burned through him. Garak intended to leave. He would no longer be in his life. And that thought knocked the wind out of him. "But damn it, _I_ won't be able to find you!" Julian sobbed, falling back to the couch. "I  _need_ you!"

He reached out a shaky hand to Garak, who grasped it firmly. "Garak, please, don't leave me," the young man pleaded.

Garak's eyes clouded over as he remembered the threats against not just him, but against his one true friend. The man who now was looking up at him, begging him not to go. Gasping raggedly, Garak murmured, "My dear Julian, I am leaving to protect you. Your life is in danger because of me."

"I don't care!" Julian wailed, lifting his tear-stained face. "If you leave, I -" he broke down, unable to speak.

Garak dropped to his knees, pulling the Human tightly against his chest. "Dearest Julian, I cannot permit others to harm you. But that means I must leave. When it is safe, I will return."

"You won't return," Julian said with certainty. "I know you Garak; once you're gone, you'll have broken ties, and you will have nothing to come back to." Fire and determination flashed in his mahogany depths, and Julian kissed the Cardassian fiercely.

"I will make  _sure_ you have something to come back to," Julian vowed, as he began making slow, passionate love to his best friend.

****

Garak awoke in the middle of the night. Staring up at the ceiling, he replayed the days events in his mind. The Protectors. The threats. Julian. His beloved Julian.

Lightly brushing his fingers along the smooth skin of Julian's shoulder, Garak hugged him tighter against his broad frame.  _Damn_ , Garak thought once more, but this time it was with irony.  _You were right. I can't leave you now_.

Kissing the mop of tousled dark hair, Garak slid carefully out of bed and quickly got dressed.  _But I must leave to protect you_. Silently packing his few belongings, Garak bent over the sleeping form of his lover and kissed him lightly.

"Good-bye, dear Julian. May we meet at another time," he murmured, brushing a stray lock off the doctor's forehead.

Blinking back tears, Garak stole out of his quarters and snuck aboard a freighter about to leave. As he huddled in the cargo bay, he wished a thousand hells on those who had forced him to this.

Julian lie quietly in Garak's bed, alone, silent tears coursing down his cheeks. He snuggled down into the warm sheets, the scent of the Cardassian filling him and leaving an empty place in his heart.

the end


End file.
